I guess its been a while since I really posted and so much has changed. I am coming out of my fog and will hopefully be posting a little more. So here is a little novel to update you all.
Family:
We have had a lot of changes in the last year. Brandon's mom moved in with us in January to help us out with all the craziness in the house and it has been wonderful. Just having another set of hands in the house has been a life saver.
The big kids are all doing really well. School just started for them and they are really enjoying the year so far. Hannah is in 7th grade and playing the cello and horseback riding and Ben is in 4th and still loving his legos. He says he wants to be a director when he grows up, and watching how he likes to boss the twins around, I think he may do really well in that career. ;) The twins think he is the bees knees! They love that he wants to play with them and will do whatever he asks. Its so cute to watch.
The twins have been going through a really tough stage. Well tough on us at least. The 3's have been just as hard as the 2's, just in a different way. They can communicate more and that has made things much easier. But the temper tantrums have been off the charts. I think they are figuring out how to deal with their frustration but not succeeding very well.
Both kids have very different ways of dealing with their anger as well. Beck will lash out and hit or kick and scream at whoever is closest when he is mad. Ella will scream at the top of her lungs until she is hoarse, sometimes up to 2 hours.
We have tried so many different methods to deal with this. We have tried time out, mimicking, silent treatment, talking through emotions, distraction, etc. The one we use the most is the time out, super nanny style. But it just doesn't stop the screaming. Most of the time we have to ignore and then just wait out the 30 minute-2 hour tantrum. Its fun. My eyes only twitch a little bit all day long now. I just don't know what to do anymore.
We got Ella totally potty trained which has been really nice. Now Beck is a totally different story. I though in the beginning of potty training that he was going to be the first to be done, but he decided about half way through that he wanted nothing to do with potty training. To say he is headstrong, may be understating his a bit. He is going to do it on his own terms and no one else can talk him into anything else until he is ready.
We have once again tried many different methods for him and nothing seems to work. My dad has taken him for the day on 2 occasions and spent the whole day drinking juice, having treats, wearing big boy pants, etc. Only to have him not pee the entire time he is with my dad. At our house we have tried the go sit on the potty every 20 minutes with m&m's, going cold turkey off diapers for 3 days only to have him pee all over my house and not even care that he is doing it, and running around with no diaper. Needless to say, it is driving me a little crazy. I'm just not even pushing it right now. I figure when he is ready he'll do it.
We are not watching Katie anymore. We had only agreed to watch her until she was a year and then it went a little longer than that. She was ready to be in an environment with other kids her age. I think home care only works for so long and then they need to be somewhere that can keep them stimulated more and around their peers. She is such a sweet girl!
Diet:
We are still working on the diet part of our lives. Over all we are trying to stay away from anything processed and anything that comes out of a box. Its working pretty well overall. But it wasn't helping all that much with weight loss. So now I'm using livestrong.com to track my calorie consumption. It is helping. I am down 9lbs in the last month. :) I've only been using it for a month but its nice to see my progress. Now to get motivated to work out again! I had to drop yoga due to finances (but they have some new plans that I may be able to fit back into the budget in a couple of months), I really miss it. After I dropped yoga, I had some trade worked out with a personal trainer. But now I need to do some on my own. Its been so darn hot in Texas that anything outside has not been very pleasant, even in the early morning. Hopefully it will start getting cooler and we can get back outside and start moving our bodies.
Meds:
I've gone off all of my meds (anti-anxiety/anti-depression) as well, which has been part of my anti-social personality issues. Can I tell you that weaning off these meds is that hardest thing I have ever done? The withdrawals just sucked. It has taken me about 2 months of slowly weaning and waiting for everything to leave my system, to start to feel just a little bit normal. I am still struggling but I think I see the light at the end of the tunnel. I'm ready to stop feeling like a hollow version of myself. Every day its getting a little better, I just want it to be all better now.
Trying to stay positive, its just really hard.
5 comments:
I would never go off my anti-Ds. Never never never. I'm glad you made it through, but don't guilt yourself if you decide to try them again. They saved my life.
Hooray for an update! Thanks for obliging! :) Glad to hear the kids are all doing well. I hear you about the 3's! Don't worry or push the potty training with Beck. I was having the EXACT same issues as you were with my son (he's 3 as well). I'd keep him in his underwear (pull-ups were futile, he'd just go in it like a diaper) and take him every 30 minutes or so. He still would have accidents and NOT CARE AT ALL. Then one day, it just clicked. HE was telling ME he had to go potty. Literally within 2 weeks he was completely potty trained. It seemed out of no where. I struggled with the bribes, pull-ups, wearing nothing, etc and what it really came down to is him deciding he was ready. Then there was no turning back. It'll click with Beck. Don't pull your hair out! :) We also have the tantrums and are using the "naughty step" a la Super Nanny. The tantrums have seemed to calm down. I'm wondering if that's because he's nearing turning 4?! Hoping it was all just a deafening phase!
Sorry to hear about having to give up your yoga classes. You were the one who got me on the 30 Day Shred, and then Yoga! I think they have a bunch of Yoga workouts On Demand if you have Comcast or something like it. Try to take some time for you to do something. I know when I get into a routine of exercise it always lifts my spirits and gives me energy. I know you can do it!
I can only imagine how getting off the meds sucked. Like Bonny said, there is no shame in taking them if you need them! Do what's best for you, whether it's being on or off them.
Thanks for the update on Katie too. I'm sure it was hard to see her go off to school, but know that you gave her tons of love and I'm sure have a very special place in her little heart! I've wondered how your friendship was affected with Jenny & Andrew's divorce. I know you were all friends. None of my business, but I know how hard it is when divorce happens, even with friends getting stuck in the middle. I hope whatever the situation may be that the friendship that you had is one that is respected and preserved.
I don't know exactly how long this comment is, but I feel like I've written a book! Sorry! I wish you nothing but the best Debbie. Probably seems funny, but I have read and followed for the last few years and can say that from doing so I feel like you are a genuinely beautiful person inside and out. You deserve happiness and to feel completely whole! Wishing that for you.
So glad to finally see a real post! Glad you are doing well. Those kids are HUGE!!! And gorgeous too...just like their momma!!
I feel you on the potty training. My 3 year old was trained going pee for MONTHS but would not go poo on the potty at all. We tried everything. He would ask us for a pull up just so he could go poop!! It was the most frustrating thing EVER!! Then a month ago, he went on there one day for our sitter. The next day he wouldn't go for me. The day after that I told him we were out of pull ups & he had to go on the potty. We've had less than 3 accidents in the last month!! Mine is stubborn too...so when he was ready he did it completely. Hang in there....Beck will get it in his own time.
I feel for you on the temper tantrums. My son is 7 now, but when he was 3 it was AWFUL! We just thought 2 was bad. My husband and I seriously used to question what kind of parents we were everyday and wonder where we went wrong. And we only had 1 so I can imagine with twins how hard that is. He turned 4 though and was a different child. He's so good now that we joke that we can't even believe it's the same child. So it will pass but I know how bad it sucks when you are in the middle of it.
Just saying hi chickie. Still hoping to get together soon! xo
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