I guess its been a while since I really posted and so much has changed. I am coming out of my fog and will hopefully be posting a little more. So here is a little novel to update you all.
Family:
We have had a lot of changes in the last year. Brandon's mom moved in with us in January to help us out with all the craziness in the house and it has been wonderful. Just having another set of hands in the house has been a life saver.
The big kids are all doing really well. School just started for them and they are really enjoying the year so far. Hannah is in 7th grade and playing the cello and horseback riding and Ben is in 4th and still loving his legos. He says he wants to be a director when he grows up, and watching how he likes to boss the twins around, I think he may do really well in that career. ;) The twins think he is the bees knees! They love that he wants to play with them and will do whatever he asks. Its so cute to watch.
The twins have been going through a really tough stage. Well tough on us at least. The 3's have been just as hard as the 2's, just in a different way. They can communicate more and that has made things much easier. But the temper tantrums have been off the charts. I think they are figuring out how to deal with their frustration but not succeeding very well.
Both kids have very different ways of dealing with their anger as well. Beck will lash out and hit or kick and scream at whoever is closest when he is mad. Ella will scream at the top of her lungs until she is hoarse, sometimes up to 2 hours.
We have tried so many different methods to deal with this. We have tried time out, mimicking, silent treatment, talking through emotions, distraction, etc. The one we use the most is the time out, super nanny style. But it just doesn't stop the screaming. Most of the time we have to ignore and then just wait out the 30 minute-2 hour tantrum. Its fun. My eyes only twitch a little bit all day long now. I just don't know what to do anymore.
We got Ella totally potty trained which has been really nice. Now Beck is a totally different story. I though in the beginning of potty training that he was going to be the first to be done, but he decided about half way through that he wanted nothing to do with potty training. To say he is headstrong, may be understating his a bit. He is going to do it on his own terms and no one else can talk him into anything else until he is ready.
We have once again tried many different methods for him and nothing seems to work. My dad has taken him for the day on 2 occasions and spent the whole day drinking juice, having treats, wearing big boy pants, etc. Only to have him not pee the entire time he is with my dad. At our house we have tried the go sit on the potty every 20 minutes with m&m's, going cold turkey off diapers for 3 days only to have him pee all over my house and not even care that he is doing it, and running around with no diaper. Needless to say, it is driving me a little crazy. I'm just not even pushing it right now. I figure when he is ready he'll do it.
We are not watching Katie anymore. We had only agreed to watch her until she was a year and then it went a little longer than that. She was ready to be in an environment with other kids her age. I think home care only works for so long and then they need to be somewhere that can keep them stimulated more and around their peers. She is such a sweet girl!
Diet:
We are still working on the diet part of our lives. Over all we are trying to stay away from anything processed and anything that comes out of a box. Its working pretty well overall. But it wasn't helping all that much with weight loss. So now I'm using
livestrong.com to track my calorie consumption. It is helping. I am down 9lbs in the last month. :) I've only been using it for a month but its nice to see my progress. Now to get motivated to work out again! I had to drop yoga due to finances (but they have some new plans that I may be able to fit back into the budget in a couple of months), I really miss it. After I dropped yoga, I had some trade worked out with a personal trainer. But now I need to do some on my own. Its been so darn hot in Texas that anything outside has not been very pleasant, even in the early morning. Hopefully it will start getting cooler and we can get back outside and start moving our bodies.
Meds:
I've gone off all of my meds (anti-anxiety/anti-depression) as well, which has been part of my anti-social personality issues. Can I tell you that weaning off these meds is that hardest thing I have ever done? The withdrawals just sucked. It has taken me about 2 months of slowly weaning and waiting for everything to leave my system, to start to feel just a little bit normal. I am still struggling but I think I see the light at the end of the tunnel. I'm ready to stop feeling like a hollow version of myself. Every day its getting a little better, I just want it to be all better now.
Trying to stay positive, its just really hard.