Friends worth having

So I was chatting with one of my best buds today and she brought up a good subject. We were talking about having friends who were really there for you and getting rid of the ones who just use you.

Why is it that you can always have that one friend, that no matter what your problem is, they always have one that's bigger. Why don't they ever actually listen to your problem? Is their problem really that much more important?

You always take the time to drop everything and listen to their problems but there is no listening in return. When do you draw the line and say "hey do you think you could actually take the time to put your problems aside for one moment and listen to me ." And when they don't, when do you finally fire them as a friend? Finally, why do we tend to take these users back?

I know I have been guilty of this on more than one occasion. And I always kick myself afterwards for being such a sucker. The other person is almost like a virus feeding on all of your healthy cells or for you harry potter fans "a dementor"(sp?). Its like these people suck all the happiness out of you and leave you with all the bad feelings, or even worse all of their bad feelings combined with all of yours.

So why do we keep on doing it? From my experience, these people always have very charismatic personalities. You see them from a distance and you want to be friends with them. Then they reel you in, and in the first few weeks of friendship you believe they really care about you and your problems. You think to yourself that you must be a lucky person to have such a good friend.

And then it hits, you have a serious problem or emergency. Who is the first person you think of to help you? The "user friend". When you call them in desperation, are they willing to drop everything and come to your aid? No, they normally say,"Sorry can't help you out, but call me next time". And the first few times you accept this like its just a fluke, but then after the 20th time you start to see a pattern. (I didn't say I picked up on these things quickly) But being the nice person you are, you still brush it off. You say "oh no they aren't really using me, they have been there for me a time or two". The problem is that you can't actually remember those times but you know that is must of happened at some point, right? WRONG!!!

When you do finally remember the times they helped you, you realize that it is always on the condition of ease. If it was easy for them to help you they did, but if it takes any effort forget it. And god forbid they have something else going on, like washing their hair for the fifth time that night. If something as "important" as washing their hair means they can't come help you, they probably won't really ever be able to do a thing for you.


Luckily I have gotten rid of all of these so called friends and family members that like to do this to me. But I know in the future I will once again fall into the trap of a "user" friend.

So my hard learned life lesson to you is to get rid of these so-called friends and learn to enjoy your life. Surround yourself with truly supportive, positive friends. Friends that are there for you just like you are for them. People you enjoy being around. Once you cleanse yourself of the "user" friends you will be amazed at how much better you feel.

Questions for the universe: Why are we so gullible, don't we learn from our mistakes the first time? I know I don't. Why does the dog bring the ball to you over and over again even after you have stopped throwing it, do they really think if they pester you enough you'll do it again? I always take the ball and hide it when I'm done. My dog just won't give up. Why does it always rain when you plan on going to an amusement park? It is always sunny and nice the entire rest of the week. And where do the socks really go? I really want to know! Thanks for listening to my rant.